last post, '09

Here we are folks. The last ever post of the oh-so-grand year we have all come to know and love as '09. Lets recap, shall we?
When did I start thinking blogging was such a bucket of laughs? May I do believe it was? I haven't even been at this for a year. Well that's just a little depressing. Nevertheless, I've thoroughly enjoyed these last seven months. The laughs.. the tears... except not actually.

Rustling through my archives, it has become apparent to me that I only blog when I'm down, or sad, or in emotional turmoil. Which gives a lot of sense as to why I haven't posted anything of importance for so long.
It's because I've been happy. Just happy. That's all.
I couldn't think of a better way to be ending what has been a rather difficult year. I have someone to walk out out 2009 and into 2010 with who has made me the happiest I've been in a really long time. Someone who makes me a better person, and who sees who I am and, by some miraculously insane work of a god, likes it.

New years resolutions have never been my thing. I have a problem with self-motivation. So I just don't go there. And it's worked for me so far. I'm more of a short-term goal kind of person. So no. Just no. I mean why set myself up for disappointment.

I was talking to my dear friend Nathaniel a short while ago. And we came to the conclusion that, if we both actually and completely weren't afraid to be one hundred percent ourselves, we would be the creepers with Harry Potter glasses and sweatpants who sit by themselves in the cafeteria at lunch reading their book or doing their homework. And I liked that idea.

I'm not quite sure how to begin summing up my year, as I feel I should be seeing as its my last chance here. New Year's Eve is really one big global event of procrastination, if you think about it. You have to save the partying and the resolution-making and the reflecting all for New Year's Eve! I like that too. Because I like procrastination. I should see if Facebook has a fan page for folk like me. I'd bet my bottom dollar they do. Facebook has everything. Because Facebook is law. Don't forget that, people.

Summing up. Right. Let us go.
Walking out of 2009, I walk out on a lot of hurt, a lot of hardship, wavering faith in a variety of things, and feelings that I thought would never go away. But as I let 2009 go, I am letting all of those things go too. This year will be remembered, and it will be reflected upon, but it is also being released. It's being left behind, but in it's own special little glass box to keep it safe so I can always look back on it when I want to, but I can never touch it again. This year I will let sleeping dogs lie, and let my past go. Not forget my past, but acknowledge it, learn from it, and keep moving. Because I think that's all you can ever do in life. Keep moving. Things are always changing. Sometimes, for me, change is hard to deal with. I like things to be the same. I like routine, and I like to know what's coming next. But I also understand life doesn't work that way. So I'll take things as they come, and accept them in stride. When one door closes, it always means that another has opened. So as '09 is complete and the vault is sealed, I will walk into 2010, in reality, the same as I have any other year, but ideally, with a little more optimism. Let's give it a shot.