Friday, July 31, 2009

you let me down,,


As we grow up we learn that even the person who wasn't supposed to let us down probably will. You'll have your heart broken more than once and its harder every single time. You'll break hearts too so remember how it felt when someone breaks yours. You'll fight with your best friend but still love them with all you got. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing way to fast and you will eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh to hard, and love like no one has ever hurt you before. As hard as it may be.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

...

I used to make fun of people like me.

Monday, July 27, 2009

funny...

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

guys vs. girls

guys drink to forget about girls;
girls drink to think back about the guy.
when guys are in love they become poor;
when girls are in love, they become pretty.
guys can forget but can't forgive;
girls can forgive but can't forget.
guys break up when they feel
love from another girl;
girls break up when they feel
the separation from their man.
guys feel curiosity towards girls;
girls feel curiosity towards guys
who are interested in them.
when guys are heartbroken they try to forget
about the girl by going out with another;
when girls are heartbroken they try to find his
characteristics from another guy.
but finally, guys wish to be her first love;
girls wish to be his last.

Monday, July 20, 2009

a change of heart

In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime. It's the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it's the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it's the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future.

- Jodi Picoult, A Change of Heart

Friday, July 17, 2009

a quotation:


Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't believe impossible things."
"I dare say you haven't had as much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age I did it for half an hour a day. Why sometimes I've believed as many as six possible things before breakfast."

-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass


Sunday, July 12, 2009

FNL

right here right now, god has placed you here to do what you do best... go all the way. we will all be tested to our very souls. we will all now be tested. it is these times, it is this pain, that allows us to look inside ourselvess. life is so very fragile. we are all vulnerable, and we will all at some point in our lives, fall. we will all fall. we must carry this in our hearts, that what we have is special.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

final thoughts...

some people think im crazy. others think im stupid.
what we had will never be stupid, maybe a little crazy, yes. but only because we were crazy about each other.
i dont want to live my life with regrets. no matter how much i tell myself that i regret being with you, it will never be true. i need to, more than anything, be true to myself.
i loved you. but ive made myself realize that youre not worth all of the hurt ive put myself through.
no one will ever take away my respect for myself. i will always come first, no matter who i fall in love with, or who i want to spend the rest of my life with. im 16. i have my entire life ahead of me, and i dont want to live that life with regrets. you werent a regret, you were an eye opening experience.
i will always have feelings for you, i will always cry for you when you mess parts of your life up, i will always think of you, and i will always have your best interests up front.
but im not going to live my life thinking "what if". what if we stayed together? what if we never dated? im not going to think of the worst. we shared amazing, and awful times together. we went through alot.
to be respected by others, you first need to respect yourself. and you are stuck in a cycle of disrespect right now. and i will NOT be a part of that.
im happy with my choices, and its going to stay like that.
my heart will never let you go, but my mind has already been there.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

something more

what type of word is "missing"? in relation to speech? grammatically and most accurately, it is an adjective, to describe an object who's location has been changed without the owner's recollection of the move, or to describe an object's position as not one it should normally exist in.
but is that it? to me, sometimes, "missing" seems more like a feeling: not unlike "anger", or "happiness", or a state of being "sad". "Missing" is a whole set of emotions in itself. The "missing" I come across in irritating reoccurrance is of a different kind. It's not grammatically correct, and it is near impossible to describe the way I am trying to.

Let's take the phrase "I am missing you" as an example.
Could it logically be called a verb in this situation? Yes, I think so. "I'm missing you", "I'm hitting you". Any common verb with "ing" attached to the end of it can be coherently substituted into that sentence and the product will be logical and make perfectly good sense.
"I'm kicking you"
"I'm licking you"
"I'm beating you"
"I'm eating you"
It all works. But a verb is not the title I would give to "missing". As I said, i view it/understand it/know it as a feeling. To miss someone/something is to want something about them/it back. Along with "missing" comes regret, loneliness, and emptiness. That is what I believe. You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone. Missing is so much more than a "...hmmm, i wish you were here". Not for me. Missing sucks. It's hard and confusing. Especially when what you miss is something you're better off without...

Friday, July 3, 2009

my black dahlia

beauty
emotion
tears
pain
deceit
deviation
anger
hate
rage
agony
animosity
paranoia
resentment
ferocity
acrimony
acidity
confusion
retaliation
desolation
desperation
suffocation
asphyxiation
loved you
made me
hate me
gave me
hate, see?
saved me
these tears
deadly.
rip back
feel bad
feel sad?
sorry?
hell no
fuck that
my heart
your knife.
strife dies
this life
these lies.
remember?
I loved you.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. So, you can waste your life drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.