into the light

im so done. with crying by myself; sacrificing my happiness and what I want, and being the better person to avoid a conflict; done with the fighting, done with the drama, done with the wondering.

wondering if it will all prove worth it in the end; wondering if I upset you; wondering if I overreacted, wondering if you overreacted. i refuse to wonder any longer about things that should be certain.

i'm don't want to sacrifice things just to end up feeling this way anymore. i gave up a friend for you; i gave up seeing half my friends for you. i gave up plans for you; i give up what i want, for you. on a regular basis. but i tell myself its for love's sake and it's not so bad. until it ends up like this.

i don't like to be sworn at. i don't like to be yelled at; i don't handle it well, nor will i tolerate it any longer. i don't like it when you develop these absurb double standards and expect me to not have a problem with them. i treat you with respect. and i wait for you to respect me in turn.

i'm still waiting.

i'm waiting for this to all make sense. i'm waiting for things to change; im waiting for us to be able to do this on our own and for everyone else to let us be. i'm waiting to see; i'm waiting to get out of this place we seem to be stuck in. time is all we can give it at this point.

so we wait. and we keep working at this.